Why do people say that? If they only knew the real me. Not perfect by any means. Not the perfect parent, the perfect wife, or the perfect caregiver. Yes, wanted to be a perfect caregiver to my husband – but failed in so many ways. After three years of increased responsibility of care giving, I became tired and cranky – ok let’s get real – angry and frustrated.
My counselor husband sat me down just two weeks before he died, and we had the conversation. He said, “I cannot stand your negativity any longer. I do not purposefully get up without my walker and my oxygen. I just forgot to use them. One of these days, I may forget who you are.”
Wow, as usual he put me in my place ever so gently. Of course, I cried and apologized for my attitude and asked him to pray for me to be more grace giving. It worked and I found myself depending more on the Lord to help me be kind instead of nagging.
God’s timing is always perfect. His love is always perfect. Those last two weeks were so sweet as John continued to decline and needed me more for his care.
Thank you, Lord, for relieving me of the guilt so often associated with caregivers of being so – not perfect. –
If you are a caregiver – I pray that God will enable you to depend on Him more each day to be a grace giver. May you depend on His strength and power to comfort and care for your loved one. Because
He is perfect!
Psalm 18:30
As for God, his way is perfect:
The Lord’s word is flawless;
he shields all who take refuge in him.
