communication, depression, faith, family, gardening, Home

Have you ever felt numb?

Webster defines numb – to make (someone) unable to think, feel, or react normally.

Nothing – that is how I felt. Numb. I just wanted to cry! Maybe it would make me feel better. Don’t know about you, but I don’t cry easily. Only time I cry is when I pray or listen to worship songs.

Even after a church service or serving at church, on the drive home – felt empty – not sure what is wrong? At first attributed it to being tired but it got worse as days passed.

Each day, reading devotionals and routine of Proverb of day and five Psalms did not seem to help.

Then I realized I was grieving – not a loss of someone – but of something.

We had just moved out of our house, stored furniture, and moved into neighbor’s cabin.  Thank you, Lord for this cabin.

John relaxing
Porch retreat

Thank you for the friends and neighbors who helped us.

Yes, there were angels in human suits all over the place.

From ladies helping pack, neighbor’s moving boxes, friends helping with moving sale and then neighborhood cookout. One friend even took my plants to her house to care for them until we move in new house.

At a restaurant, my husband was having difficulty walking – a man came over and helped set up his oxygen.

In Home Depot the clerk noticed my husband did not have his oxygen turned on – she just happened to be a respiratory therapist.

Next morning at breakfast, another angel came over as we were trying to get to table. My husband was very weak and staggering.  The man came over and helped me get him to a seat – then ordered orange juice for him to drink.

So why the numb feeling?

I sat down to look at new Bible study book – Experiencing God. First lesson talked about Abraham’s call and how he, at 75 years old (I turned 75 in June) God didn’t give him specific directions of where to go, or what he was to do when he got there.  

Unlike Abraham I did know where I was going – a new smaller house. Closer to town and church. I did know what I would be doing – taking care of my husband.

Why was I grieving? The loss of my house, gardens, flowers, neighbors? Could be the pools of water around the new house due to weeks of rain. Could be the appliances and windows have not come in which delays everything to complete the house by end of month.

The Bible study book shared very familiar verses:

– John 15:5  I am the vine you are the branches, if a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit, apart from me you can do nothing.

Wow, reminder!

Matt 6:33-34 “Seek first his kingdom and his righteousness and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore, do not worry about tomorrow for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.”

God spoke to my spirit – you can do nothing – without me! From the lesson – Agree with God that you will follow Him one day at a time!

The song One day at a Time came to mind. I pulled the song up on YouTube by Linda Randle. https://youtu.be/JhUvFqOY00I

  It ministered to me and then it skipped to the next song by her –

God on the Mountain –https://youtu.be/mvkCoC0ZOZc

Here are the words in case you can’t pull up in YouTube:

Life is easy, when you’re up on the mountain
And you’ve got peace of mind, like you’ve never known
But when things change and you’re down in the valley
Don’t lose faith, for you’re never alone

[Chorus]
And the God on the mountain is still God in the valley
When things go wrong, He’ll make them right
And the God of the good times is still God in the bad times
The God of the day is still God in the night

[Verse 2]
We talk of faith when we’re up on the mountain
But talk comes so easy when life’s at its best
But in the valley of trials and temptations
That’s when faith is really put to the test

[Chorus]
And the God on the mountain is still God in the valley
When things go wrong, He’ll make them right
And the God of the good times is still God in the bad times
The God of the day is still God in the night
The God of the day, is still God in the night

Then the tears began to flow.

This is what Experiencing God is all about. He ministers to your spirit in just the way you need when you need it.

My little valley is nothing in comparison to many I know who are experiencing death of a loved one, serious illness, or rejection by a loved one.  But God met me just where I was to bring me out of my valley.

He will do it for you as well! Allow His word and worship music to encourage you. 

The next day we visited the new house site – no change – no windows or appliances, still pools of water all around. I thought, “Oh, no and immediately it  came to me

– One day at a time, sweet Jesus!” 

Love the laundry room!

8 thoughts on “Have you ever felt numb?”

  1. Pat, I read your post and am inspired by the the way you are able to dissect the issues in your life and the way you are able to emerge with a positive solution. Problems do occur on the mountain as well and it takes the same resolve and faith to find a solution.

    I am sorry life has thrown some undeserved obstacles your way, but you are able to deal with them because of your life experiences and because you are strong. In addition, you are loved by all who know you.

    Love and best wishes to you and John,
    Clay

    Like

  2. Pat my thoughts and prayers are with you and John my husband also is getting worse he falls a lot and doesn’t walk to good but thanks for the inspiration I needed it also Butch Connor is not expected to last much longer I remember the good times we had love you both

    Like

  3. Thank you for sharing your experiences and how you’re able to always make lemonade. You are so beautiful inside and out. You have such wisdom, and you continue to inspire me/us, all of us. Such an Honor to know you. Prayers sent for you and John.

    Like

  4. Pat, Sandy Fort and I met you and John at a difficult time in our lives as both of our husbands had recently passed. This was our first time traveling without our spouses, but we gained strength from each other, you and our Heavenly Father. I will always treasure the time we spent with you. My love and prayers to both you and John.
    Tem Hiesberger

    Like

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